Let the Transition Begin...

Katelyn has been in the partial hospital program for 4 weeks now. She seems to be adjusting well to the Prozac, so the doctor decided to increase the dose slightly, which we did on Tuesday night. Her level of anxiety is still quite high, but it has only been a little over two weeks since she started the medication, which can take much longer to reach full effect. It does, however, seem to be helping with the depression aspect. So far, we have seen some significant improvements in terms of her ability to enjoy things, laugh, and smile, and she is now showing some interest in previously cherished objects, including Giraffe (although not anywhere near the extent that it was before). She is slowly becoming more tolerant of other children it seems. Normally, she would lash out and hit another child for getting too close to her, but now she is occasionally allowing another child to give her a toy or even a hug. She is also smiling at other children a little bit and saying "hi" spontaneously.

We are seeing an increase in spontaneous screaming, and she has been getting very hyper and overstimulated lately, so we are going to keep an eye on this because it could be a side effect of the medication. However, if we have to choose between a hyper child and a depressed child, we would much rather have the hyper child who is able to laugh, be silly, and enjoy things once again, as long as it doesn't interfere with her ability to function at home and school.

Because we are starting to see some improvements, we have decided to attempt to begin a transition back to her preschool. This past Tuesday, her teacher came to visit her at the day program. Today, she is going for a half-day at her preschool and her therapist from the day program is going to be there to assist in the transition, and the same will happen on Monday. If all goes well, she will be discharged from the hospital program on Tuesday. We will be meeting with the school the following week to discuss her current needs (since they are very different than they were previously) and write up a new IEP to ensure that all of the necessary services are in place for her as soon as possible. We are looking forward to getting her back to her preschool with her wonderful teacher, principal, and therapists, who have all given us a tremendous amount of support and guidance throughout this whole ordeal. They truly love and care about Katelyn and we couldn't be more grateful to them.

Although we are seeing some positive changes, she still has a lot more to overcome. It is going to be a long road, but with support from professionals, family, and friends, we are confident that we will get our beloved Katelyn back to where she needs to be.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

Last week, my mother, grandmother, and I decided to brave the idea of taking the girls to get their picture taken with Santa. Last year, it was not a good experience and, as you may recall, I had to sit in the picture, which was completely unplanned (hence my clashing outfit, no make-up, etc.). I was determined that there was no way I was going to be photographed this year!

I had prepped Katelyn to see Santa days before so that she would hopefully not be scared of him. She was excited to see "Santa's house" and she practiced her smile with Mimi (my mother) all morning long. What I didn't expect was that Ashley would be the one who would be completely freaked out!

As soon as we arrived at the mall, Katelyn was talking about Santa. She was excited to see the big tree and all of the decorations around Santa's chair. She needed no encouragement to come say hi to Santa and to give him a high-five. Ashley also came over fairly willingly to give Santa a high-five. However, it got interesting when I tried to put Ashley on his lap. That is when the wailing began! She was not having it!

And then poor Katelyn got a little freaked out (no tears, though, thank God) and stood back from Santa and said, "All done Santa." Santa then brought out two gift boxes for the girls to sit on instead of his lap. Katelyn sat on the gift box with no hesitation. Ashley, however, refused and tried to run away. I decided to sit on the box and have Ashley stand in front of me. This worked and Ashley stopped crying. I then told Santa (and the photographer) that I was NOT going to be in the picture. Santa disagreed. He told me that there was no way the kids were going to be okay with me leaving.

Recalling last year's photo, I reiterated that I was not going to be in the photo. I told the photographer to let me sneak out before snapping the picture. Somehow, I managed to "sneak" my 8-month-pregnant body out from behind Ashley without her noticing and I quickly ran to hide behind some props. Miraculously, Ashley didn't budge and the photographer was able to snap the photo. I couldn't believe it!

After we were done "torturing" Ashley and I was choosing the photo package, Katelyn stayed with Santa, talking up a storm about her beloved Giraffe. I wish we could have gotten a picture of this moment. It was so sweet seeing her have a conversation with Santa. She has come so far in just one year and we have so much to be grateful for this holiday season.

Caught in the Net (Swing, that is)...

When we first showed Katelyn the net swing, she was afraid of it and wanted nothing to do with it. Then a few days later, she asked for it out of the blue. We quickly hooked it up, not wanting to miss the golden opportunity to have her try it out. Just like I had expected, once she tried it, she loved it!!! Now she requests the net swing even more than her "baby swing" (that is what she calls the toddler swing).

The net swing is perfect for her because she can either sit up or lie down in it like a hammock. She also loves to snuggle with Giraffe while relaxing in the net swing. It seems to calm her down, which is a huge plus because she has been extra "stimmy" lately. Now when she feels the need to swing, she will go and grab either the net swing or the "baby swing" and drag it over. It is so nice to be able to provide her with one of her favorite activities while also serving her sensory needs.

Here are some pictures of Katelyn and Giraffe enjoying the net swing:

"Pum at Parpy"...

Today we attended our friends' son's birthday party at a place that had indoor rides and games. Katelyn was very excited and even demonstrated some of her newfound social skills! She made eye contact with a boy her age and even said hi after just a little prompting.

She even wanted to go on some of the rides (with Mama or Dada), which is rare!

She especially loved watching the "animal band" and she danced to the music. She kept saying, "More! More!" when the curtain closed, but luckily they started playing again within seconds.

We had to pry her, and Giraffe, off of the stage!

Overall, it was a really great time. It was nice to not have to leave a party early, and it gives me hope that Katelyn will continue to get more and more used to being around other children, especially in loud places. And she really enjoyed it too. When I was putting her to bed for the night, she said, "Pum at Parpy," which was her way of saying that she had fun at the party. It truly made my day to hear her say that. I am now hopeful that we will have many more "pum" days at "parpies" in the future :)

More Than We Bargained For...

It is a good thing that I did not bet money on how Katelyn would respond to getting the electrodes stuck to her head because she did way better than I had anticipated! Of course, she was not happy about it, but after the first few minutes, she did great and no sedation was required. The nurses and doctors were all amazing throughout our stay. They brought in some toys for Katelyn, one of which was a tube with beads that sound like rain when they fall. This became her "go-to" toy whenever anyone was going to mess with her head (no pun intended). She would shout, "Beads! Beads!" and we would quickly distract her with the bead tube. They also wheeled in her very own DVD player so she could watch Dora as much as she wanted to, much to our chagrin :)

Things definitely did not go as planned from the get-go; there were some good and some bad surprises. They did allow Kevin to stay with me, which was a huge relief for me. Even with the two of us there, it was still not easy to be stuck in a tiny hospital room with a 2.5-year-old who demands 24-hour attention from Mama and Dada. The food was obviously not meant for human consumption, so that was quite disappointing. We ended up living on ice coffees and donuts for the most part since there was a Dunkin' Donuts in the building, thank God.

Our 24-hour EEG turned into an exhausting 72-hour EEG because, despite the fact that Katelyn was exhibiting concerning behaviors multiple times a day prior to hospitalization, she did not demonstrate even ONE single event while admitted. Isn't it ironic (insert sarcastic smiley face here). The neurologist wanted to be sure that he did all that he could to attempt to witness any seizure activity, but unfortunately it never occurred. Therefore, we are still not 100% sure that she is not having seizures, but it certainly is promising that she did not show any signs of seizures while under observation. We were really hoping that she would do that strange behavior, even if just to rule out that it is a seizure so we would know for the future, but the good thing is that she has not had one of those events since, so we are optimistic for the moment.

As if being in the hospital for three nights with a 2.5-year-old wasn't enough, the worst was yet to come. Shortly after we put her down for the evening on the last night, Katelyn started throwing up all over herself. Even poor Giraffe got his fair share. She continued to be sick until around 1 a.m., but then finally slept the rest of the night. The next morning, the doctor told us that they wanted to keep her for a few hours after her electrodes were removed, just to be sure that she was okay since she had vomited the night before and there was a GI bug going around the floor. Right as we were about to be discharged, the nurse checked her temp and it was 102. The doctor said that he would keep her if we chose, but we were so sick of being in that hospital that we decided to take her home. Unfortunately, she threw up all over herself in the van when we were only a few minutes from the house.

The next morning, I ended up becoming violently ill, and by that evening, Kevin was also extremely sick. Neither one of us were in any condition to take care of ourselves, let alone Katelyn, but we did what we had to do, even when she woke in the night vomiting again. Luckily, Kevin's parents were gracious enough to keep Ashley so that she would not get sick too. We finally seem to be on the mend now, and Ashley is finally home with us after being at Grammy and Papa's for a week.

So, all in all, it certainly was not a dream vacation, and we didn't get any concrete answers, but at least it was memorable. I'm sure we will look back and laugh at this some day.

Giraffe and Dada got "hats" too...

Katelyn lined up her animals and played with balloons...

With Mama when we arrived/with Dada on the last day...

Who Needs Toys?

With a house FULL of every toy imaginable, Katelyn's favorite thing at the moment (aside from Giraffe, of course) is cardboard tubes. Whether they be from toilet paper, paper towels, or Christmas wrap, they get the job done. And the more, the merrier. She carries them all over the house, rolls them back and forth, snuggles with them (and Giraffe), stacks them -- you name it, she does it. She affectionately refers to them as "poob" :) When they start to unravel, she shows her concern by pointing out their "boo boo" and asking me or Dada to fix it. Yesterday, her Auntie Amy gave her an indestructible "poob" that will be able to withstand Katelyn's constant play. However, it was quite long and we were concerned that she would break everything in the house or poke out her little sister's eyes, so Dada cut it into 3 equal pieces (about the size of paper towel tubes). Now she is ecstatic that she has 3 indestructible "poobs" to roughhouse with, and we are grateful that Ashley won't have to sacrifice an eye in the process.

Zoning Out for the Holidays (photos, that is)...

Yesterday my grandmother and I took Katelyn and her baby sister, Ashley, for their holiday photo session. It was also Ashley's 6-month picture (she will be 6 months old at the end of the month). It certainly was an interesting experience.

I had been a little worried about how Katelyn would react because she was NOT happy at her 2-year photo session, although she had never had an issue before. I fully expected the blood-curdling screaming and crying and I was anticipating walking away without photos of my beautiful little girl. However, what happened next was unexpected and quite interesting to witness.

When we first approached the photo area, she began screaming and crying and clinging to me like a koala bear. She did NOT want to sit for the picture, even though her baby sister was perched happily (as usual) on the stage and smiling at her. Katelyn was repeating, "Mama, bye bye, Nana," desperately resisting to pose for the pictures. I then took out her beloved Giraffe and asked them to take his picture so that Katelyn could see him on the screen. She still cried, but she was interested in looking at Giraffe on TV.

Then all of a sudden, it was like someone flipped a switch. She stopped crying and just zoned out. It was like she went into her own little world. She was no longer scared, it seemed. However, she was so zoned out that it seemed that she was no longer aware of her surroundings, which made it virtually impossible to get her to look at the camera or smile. She did not respond when the photographer was clapping, banging, singing, shouting, squeaking toys, etc., except that she would occasionally repeat what they would say or she would start saying random words, "Wow, Mama, up, clock, ding, ding, ding." She also would immediately yell, "Mama!" if I tried to get up since I was sitting right next to her. That was the only thing that she seemed to notice.

Now, I have witnessed Katelyn zoning out and staring off into space before, but this was the first time that I saw her go from one state to the other. It was just as if someone had flicked a switch and off she went.

Needless to say, there are no pictures of Katelyn smiling, but that is perfectly fine with me because the pictures that we got capture the essence of Katelyn beautifully. I always tell the photographer not to focus on getting her to smile because she hardly ever does for pictures, and that is fine with me because she smiles and laughs off camera all of the time, and that is all that matters to me.