It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

Last week, my mother, grandmother, and I decided to brave the idea of taking the girls to get their picture taken with Santa. Last year, it was not a good experience and, as you may recall, I had to sit in the picture, which was completely unplanned (hence my clashing outfit, no make-up, etc.). I was determined that there was no way I was going to be photographed this year!

I had prepped Katelyn to see Santa days before so that she would hopefully not be scared of him. She was excited to see "Santa's house" and she practiced her smile with Mimi (my mother) all morning long. What I didn't expect was that Ashley would be the one who would be completely freaked out!

As soon as we arrived at the mall, Katelyn was talking about Santa. She was excited to see the big tree and all of the decorations around Santa's chair. She needed no encouragement to come say hi to Santa and to give him a high-five. Ashley also came over fairly willingly to give Santa a high-five. However, it got interesting when I tried to put Ashley on his lap. That is when the wailing began! She was not having it!

And then poor Katelyn got a little freaked out (no tears, though, thank God) and stood back from Santa and said, "All done Santa." Santa then brought out two gift boxes for the girls to sit on instead of his lap. Katelyn sat on the gift box with no hesitation. Ashley, however, refused and tried to run away. I decided to sit on the box and have Ashley stand in front of me. This worked and Ashley stopped crying. I then told Santa (and the photographer) that I was NOT going to be in the picture. Santa disagreed. He told me that there was no way the kids were going to be okay with me leaving.

Recalling last year's photo, I reiterated that I was not going to be in the photo. I told the photographer to let me sneak out before snapping the picture. Somehow, I managed to "sneak" my 8-month-pregnant body out from behind Ashley without her noticing and I quickly ran to hide behind some props. Miraculously, Ashley didn't budge and the photographer was able to snap the photo. I couldn't believe it!

After we were done "torturing" Ashley and I was choosing the photo package, Katelyn stayed with Santa, talking up a storm about her beloved Giraffe. I wish we could have gotten a picture of this moment. It was so sweet seeing her have a conversation with Santa. She has come so far in just one year and we have so much to be grateful for this holiday season.

Video of Katelyn Talking About School and More...

Katelyn loves to talk about school and gabs non-stop at home. I shot this video of her last night since she was in a talkative mood. Unfortunately, she is overly sensitive to the sound of Ashley's voice, so she gets a little upset at the end and asks for her comfort activity: A hug from Mommy.

"Pum at Parpy"...

Today we attended our friends' son's birthday party at a place that had indoor rides and games. Katelyn was very excited and even demonstrated some of her newfound social skills! She made eye contact with a boy her age and even said hi after just a little prompting.

She even wanted to go on some of the rides (with Mama or Dada), which is rare!

She especially loved watching the "animal band" and she danced to the music. She kept saying, "More! More!" when the curtain closed, but luckily they started playing again within seconds.

We had to pry her, and Giraffe, off of the stage!

Overall, it was a really great time. It was nice to not have to leave a party early, and it gives me hope that Katelyn will continue to get more and more used to being around other children, especially in loud places. And she really enjoyed it too. When I was putting her to bed for the night, she said, "Pum at Parpy," which was her way of saying that she had fun at the party. It truly made my day to hear her say that. I am now hopeful that we will have many more "pum" days at "parpies" in the future :)

"Coat On Bye Bye Car Swing"...

Word for word, this was Katelyn's way of telling us two days ago that she wanted to go to the park so she could swing. Given the fact that we live in New England and there was a ton of snow on the ground, I told her that the swings were closed because it was winter. Of course, she did not like that answer, and she kept on pressing: "Coat on baby's, coat on Dada's, coat on Mama's!" Saying "coat on" (usually followed by "bye bye car") is her way of saying that she wants to leave.

After listening to her plead with all her heart, Kevin and I decided why not! It actually was 50 degrees on Sunday, so despite the snow, it was a mild day (aside from the horrendous wind). We dressed the girls in their snowsuits, plopped them in the van, along with the sled, and we headed over to the nearby park. Katelyn was beyond ecstatic that we were actually going to the swings!

Once we arrived, Katelyn saw the swingset and started screaming, "Boo wing! Boo wing!" (Blue swing, because it is a blue swingset.) We traipsed through the snowy field to get to the swing. I pushed Katelyn on the swing while Kevin pulled Ashley in the sled for the first time. The girls had a great time. The best part was that it was completely Katelyn's idea and that she was able to communicate it so well.

Here are some pictures from our little snowy adventure...

I Finally Have My Girl Back...

For the past few months, Katelyn seemed to be slipping away. She would no longer feed herself independently, watch her favorite TV shows, play with her toys, walk up and down stairs, etc. She even stopped singing and clapping. Overall, she seemed very unhappy, as if she was locked inside herself and couldn't break out. But with some help, Katelyn has returned.

Since it wasn't clear if she wouldn't, or simply couldn't, do certain things that she used to do, we were not exactly sure how to handle the situation. If she truly could not do these things, it would not be fair to her for us to try to force her to do so. However, if she was just choosing not to do certain things, this would be a behavior issue that could be corrected.

Exactly one week ago, I decided it was time to try to break Katelyn free, if possible. For some reason, she would no longer enter our kitchen for the past few months, so I decided to start there. I also wanted to tackle the self-feeding issue since she was only eating if I shoved the food into her mouth. I already have an 8-month-old who cannot self-feed, so as you can imagine, having to feed my 2.5-year-old as well was time-consuming and exhausting.

So I picked Katelyn up and brought her into the middle of the kitchen. She was not happy, but she lied down on the floor. I got out one of her favorite snacks and put them in a bowl. She really wanted the snack, but she got very upset that I refused to put them in her mouth for her. I held the bowl and told her that she needed to take them out herself. She began to cry and protest, hoping that I would give in. However, after enough time went by, she finally took one out and shoved it in her mouth reluctantly. It was like a battle of wills, not against me, but against herself. I praised her a ton and then I put the bowl down on the floor, no longer holding it for her. Once again, after some tantruming, she finally took one out of the bowl. Again, more praise. All in all, it took an hour and a half to get her to successfully feed herself, but it was worth every minute. This was a huge breakthrough!

I then decided to see if she would feed herself at the coffee table, since she had been refusing to even go near it for months. I put the bowl on the table and turned on Blue's Clues. With some prompting and reassurance, she finally went over to the table and fed herself. I praised and praised her. She became very excited to receive the praise. I could see the pride that she felt. It was then that I knew that she was not incapable of doing things that she once did, she just lacked the confidence. It was like she just got stuck in a rut and didn't know how to get out, but I opened up the door for her. Finally, my happy girl was back!

As if a magic switch had been turned on, Katelyn quickly resumed to many of her old activities. She now walks up and down the stairs completely independently, feeds herself (she even used a fork and spoon tonight and she did well!), doesn't require Mama and Dada to be in the same room with her all of the time, and she even has been incredibly sweet with her baby sister. She is constantly laughing and smiling, and you can just see the difference in her. Also, her language has just exploded and she is actually starting to form sentences! And to think, just a few months ago, we weren't sure if she would ever say more than one- or two-word phrases.

Also, her ABA therapy started last week and Katelyn is doing amazingly well. She already has a bond with her ABA therapist, Aimee, and she is enjoying the one-on-one sessions. And now that she has the language skills, we are able to see just how smart she truly is. She continues to amaze me every day.

Katelyn has taught me many things in her short life so far, but one of the most important lessons that I have learned is to cherish the small accomplishments and never take anything for granted. When you have a child with autism or developmental delays, you really hold onto the little successes, and if and when your autistic child reaches the "normal" milestones, even if it takes months or years longer than other children, it is truly euphoric. It is almost like witnessing a miracle because it isn't definite that your autistic child will ever do some of the things that other children do naturally. After witnessing, and being a part of, Katelyn's recent breakthrough, I feel on top of the world. I finally have my girl back, and I am never letting her go.

More Than We Bargained For...

It is a good thing that I did not bet money on how Katelyn would respond to getting the electrodes stuck to her head because she did way better than I had anticipated! Of course, she was not happy about it, but after the first few minutes, she did great and no sedation was required. The nurses and doctors were all amazing throughout our stay. They brought in some toys for Katelyn, one of which was a tube with beads that sound like rain when they fall. This became her "go-to" toy whenever anyone was going to mess with her head (no pun intended). She would shout, "Beads! Beads!" and we would quickly distract her with the bead tube. They also wheeled in her very own DVD player so she could watch Dora as much as she wanted to, much to our chagrin :)

Things definitely did not go as planned from the get-go; there were some good and some bad surprises. They did allow Kevin to stay with me, which was a huge relief for me. Even with the two of us there, it was still not easy to be stuck in a tiny hospital room with a 2.5-year-old who demands 24-hour attention from Mama and Dada. The food was obviously not meant for human consumption, so that was quite disappointing. We ended up living on ice coffees and donuts for the most part since there was a Dunkin' Donuts in the building, thank God.

Our 24-hour EEG turned into an exhausting 72-hour EEG because, despite the fact that Katelyn was exhibiting concerning behaviors multiple times a day prior to hospitalization, she did not demonstrate even ONE single event while admitted. Isn't it ironic (insert sarcastic smiley face here). The neurologist wanted to be sure that he did all that he could to attempt to witness any seizure activity, but unfortunately it never occurred. Therefore, we are still not 100% sure that she is not having seizures, but it certainly is promising that she did not show any signs of seizures while under observation. We were really hoping that she would do that strange behavior, even if just to rule out that it is a seizure so we would know for the future, but the good thing is that she has not had one of those events since, so we are optimistic for the moment.

As if being in the hospital for three nights with a 2.5-year-old wasn't enough, the worst was yet to come. Shortly after we put her down for the evening on the last night, Katelyn started throwing up all over herself. Even poor Giraffe got his fair share. She continued to be sick until around 1 a.m., but then finally slept the rest of the night. The next morning, the doctor told us that they wanted to keep her for a few hours after her electrodes were removed, just to be sure that she was okay since she had vomited the night before and there was a GI bug going around the floor. Right as we were about to be discharged, the nurse checked her temp and it was 102. The doctor said that he would keep her if we chose, but we were so sick of being in that hospital that we decided to take her home. Unfortunately, she threw up all over herself in the van when we were only a few minutes from the house.

The next morning, I ended up becoming violently ill, and by that evening, Kevin was also extremely sick. Neither one of us were in any condition to take care of ourselves, let alone Katelyn, but we did what we had to do, even when she woke in the night vomiting again. Luckily, Kevin's parents were gracious enough to keep Ashley so that she would not get sick too. We finally seem to be on the mend now, and Ashley is finally home with us after being at Grammy and Papa's for a week.

So, all in all, it certainly was not a dream vacation, and we didn't get any concrete answers, but at least it was memorable. I'm sure we will look back and laugh at this some day.

Giraffe and Dada got "hats" too...

Katelyn lined up her animals and played with balloons...

With Mama when we arrived/with Dada on the last day...

Mama's Little Helper...

Today I finally got around to actually moving the furniture in the livingroom and sweeping/vacuuming the floors. I knew that there would be an entire living ecosystem under there :) Besides the God-only-knows-how-old-these-darn-things-are goldfish crackers and Captain Crunch pieces (thanks, Katelyn!), we also found various cat toys and the missing pieces of various puzzles and toys that belong to Katelyn. We even found a "poob" :)

Katelyn was excited about the vacuum and the broom. She wanted a broom of her own, so I let her use the dustpan brush. She followed behind me as I swept and she was very proud of herself. Once Mama moved on to the vacuum, she took the large broom for herself and decided to help out by sweeping the kitchen :)

On Thanksgiving Day, Katelyn was thankful for...

Spending Thanksgiving at Uncle Pete and Auntie Amy's House!

"poobs" (tubes)

Sticks

Mama's Necklace (note the red scratches on my neck from her trying to rip it off of me)

Dada warming up her cold hands

Paper Tablecloths (so she can tear pieces off!)

Tickles!!!!!

Her Baby Sister, Ashley

And Katelyn is also thankful for all of the wonderful people in her life who love her very, very much, and are doing everything they can to help her become the amazing little girl that she is.

Thank you.

Oh, No. It's Santa.

Because I obviously have a need to be in a constant state of stress, I decided to take the kiddos to get their picture taken with Santa. For the last 2 years, Katelyn never had a problem with Santa. In fact, she was always intrigued by his soft beard, fuzzy outfit, etc. Well, given her reaction to getting her photos done recently, I expected that this year would be different.

Katelyn was very excited about all of the lights and the Christmas tree. She even enjoyed meeting Santa and checking out all of the presents near his oversized green chair. But when it came time to actually take the picture (i.e. Mama leaving the scene), that was when all Hell broke loose. Katelyn begged for me to stay with her while I tried to convince her to sit nicely for the picture (yes, I'm trying to reason with a 2-year-old). Not only did Katelyn get upset, but Ashley started crying as well. Great, now even the baby who never cries is crying!

With Ashley screaming and Katelyn running away from Santa, the photographer interjected some reality: "I don't think this picture is going to happen, Mom." However, I was not leaving without getting a picture of my girls with Santa. It is a tradition, afterall! Since it was clear that both girls were not going to sit pretty for Santa like I had hoped, I decided to go with plan B...Mama will have to be in the picture as well, sans make-up, sans shower, clashing outfit and all. I really wish the mall Santa photographers had access to Photoshop. Not to mention, Santa looks thrilled :)

Although it is definitely not what I had hoped for, at least I got my picture of the girls with Santa (and, unfortunately, me). I'm sure I will look back on this and laugh, and most of all, be grateful for the silly memory.

Zoning Out for the Holidays (photos, that is)...

Yesterday my grandmother and I took Katelyn and her baby sister, Ashley, for their holiday photo session. It was also Ashley's 6-month picture (she will be 6 months old at the end of the month). It certainly was an interesting experience.

I had been a little worried about how Katelyn would react because she was NOT happy at her 2-year photo session, although she had never had an issue before. I fully expected the blood-curdling screaming and crying and I was anticipating walking away without photos of my beautiful little girl. However, what happened next was unexpected and quite interesting to witness.

When we first approached the photo area, she began screaming and crying and clinging to me like a koala bear. She did NOT want to sit for the picture, even though her baby sister was perched happily (as usual) on the stage and smiling at her. Katelyn was repeating, "Mama, bye bye, Nana," desperately resisting to pose for the pictures. I then took out her beloved Giraffe and asked them to take his picture so that Katelyn could see him on the screen. She still cried, but she was interested in looking at Giraffe on TV.

Then all of a sudden, it was like someone flipped a switch. She stopped crying and just zoned out. It was like she went into her own little world. She was no longer scared, it seemed. However, she was so zoned out that it seemed that she was no longer aware of her surroundings, which made it virtually impossible to get her to look at the camera or smile. She did not respond when the photographer was clapping, banging, singing, shouting, squeaking toys, etc., except that she would occasionally repeat what they would say or she would start saying random words, "Wow, Mama, up, clock, ding, ding, ding." She also would immediately yell, "Mama!" if I tried to get up since I was sitting right next to her. That was the only thing that she seemed to notice.

Now, I have witnessed Katelyn zoning out and staring off into space before, but this was the first time that I saw her go from one state to the other. It was just as if someone had flicked a switch and off she went.

Needless to say, there are no pictures of Katelyn smiling, but that is perfectly fine with me because the pictures that we got capture the essence of Katelyn beautifully. I always tell the photographer not to focus on getting her to smile because she hardly ever does for pictures, and that is fine with me because she smiles and laughs off camera all of the time, and that is all that matters to me.